Twilight: Staking Dawn
Twilight: Staking Dawn is a take-off of the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 and is spoofed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This segment is from MAD Season 2, Episode 16 (42): [[Twilight: Staking Dawn / Cookie Blue|'Twilight: Staking Dawn / Cookie Blue']]. Summary An uninvited guest of the slayer variety shows up at Edward and Bella's wedding. References *[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Street Sesame Street] *Batman *Al Gore *[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitney_(TV_series) Whitney] *Whitney Cummings *[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_and_a_Half_Men Two and a Half Men] *Royal Wedding MAD References *K-Stew's Beef Stew *[[Two and a Half Man|'Two and a Half Man']] *[[Spy vs. Spy Kids|'Spy vs. Spy Kids']] *[[Mouse M.D.|'Mouse M.D.']] Characters *Edward Cullen *Bella Swan *Jacob Black *Buffy Summers *Alice Cullen *Renesmee Cullen *Whitney Cummings *Count von Count *Prince William *Kate Middleton *The Queen *Al Gore *Old Man Transcript (The scene begins.) Vampire (Joel McHale): We're gathered here today to witness the marriage between Mr. Edward Cullen... (A bunch of Edward fans appear crying, along with Count van Count.) Vampire: And Ms. Bella Swan. (A bunch of swans appear, while Bella's parents appear crying.) Vampire: If anyone knows the reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or... (The vampire gets shot. The crowd gasps.) Vampire: Call me a doctor. (turns to dust) (Buffy the Vampire Slayer appears.) Buffy (Chloe Grace Mortez): Somebody order a slayer? Crowd: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER?! Buffy: (blushes) Sorry, my catchphrases are a little bit rusty. (She shoots one of the vampires, who runs along with the rest of the crowd screaming. Chaos happens.) Bella (Taylor Swift): Did you invite her? Edward (Josh Peck): No. Bella: Well, she'd better brought a gift. (Title card: "Twilight: Breaking Dawn", but the words "Breaking Dawn" get replaced with a wooden stake with the words "Staking Dawn" on it, making the title to "Twilight: Staking Dawn") Edward: We've got to get out of here. Bella: But they haven't cut the cake yet! (Buffy slices the cake with a sword, which the cake has a Batman topper.) Edward: Was that a little Batman? Bella: It was the closest thing they could find to a vampire. Buffy: HOLD IT! (Bella screams as Buffy is about to shoot her and Edward.) First off, let me say, this was a lovely wedding, second, PREPARE TO DIE! (aims an arrow at Edward and Bella) Edward: WAIT! How did you find us? Buffy: Easy! When I heard every vampire in the world will be at the wedding of the century, I immediately sprung into action! (Rule Britiannia playing and Buffy attacks Kate Middleton and Prince William.) Kate Middleton: (groans) Prince William: Aaaaaaahhh!!! The Queen (Elizabeth Banks): We're not vampires, we're just REALLY PALE! Buffy: 8,000,000 apologies later, I bought a ticket to Forks, Washington. That answer your question? (The camera zooms out to show that Edward, Bella and the whole crowd are gone. Crickets are heard, while a swan is seen quacking.) Ugh, I've gotta tell that story quicker. (Buffy breaks into Jacob's room.) Where are they?! Jacob (Drake Bell): Oh, you just missed them. They jumped out the window. (The camera shows the window on the right. Howling noises are heard. The camera moves onto Buffy.) Buffy: What are you doing? Jacob: Cutting out Edward's face from all the wedding photos and replacing him with me. (Jacob sticks his head onto where Edward originally was.) Buffy: Okay, well, you're busy, so I'm gonna just... (She spots Edward and Bella out the window.) AH-HA! Edward: Quick, get on my back! (They both jump to a tree.) We should be safe up here. (Buffy starts to chop the trees while Edward and Bella jump to another.) Buffy: I can do this all day, Edward! Al Gore (Steve Martin): Yes, but the planet can't! (to the audience) Hi, gang. I'm Al Gore, and the planet is our responsibility! So the next time you-- (Buffy stabs his neck with a piece of wood.) You can't kill me with wood! (He rips off his jacket to show that his body is made of wood.) I AM WOOD! (He laughs until he gets attacked by Buffy with an axe. Meanwhile, Edward and Bella are running until they come to a cliff with a waterfall. Buffy is then aiming an arrow at them.) Buffy: It's the end of the line for you clowns! Bella: But I'm not even a vampire because someone wouldn't MAKE me a vampire. Edward: Can we please talk about this later? Buffy: Uh... You may not be a vampire, but you're a weak, whiny female character! Bella: Wait, your problem with me is that I make women look bad? If that's the case, I know someone who makes women look a lot worse. (Scene goes to the set of Whitney.) Announcer: This week on all-new Whitney, "It's Tough Being a Modern Lady"! Whitney Cummings (Maria Canlas Barbera): Half of all marriages, end... (She pulls her sweatpants.) ...in sweatpants! (The audience groans while Whitney laughs.) (Buffy and Bella smash through the wall.) Buffy: This is for setting women back 30 years! (She beats up Whitney Cummings in the face. Whitney falls to the floor and gets kicked by Bella.) You're a good kicker. (A bump in Bella's body appears.) Bella: OOF! So is she. Buffy: You're pregnant?! Now what are we gonna do? Old Man (Steve Martin Again): Well, seeing how you destroyed our latest TV show, might I make a suggestion? (9 MONTHS LATER...) Narrator: It's the season premiere of Two and a Half Women! (The camera shows Bella.) She's a single parent; (the camera moves to the right to show Buffy) she's a vampire slayer! But together, they're raising a blood-sucking baby girl. (The baby attacks Buffy.) Buffy: Aaaaahhh!!! (The camera then shows Edward and Jacob. Edward is watching the show on the TV while Jacob is still putting his face onto the wedding photos.) Edward: I've been alive for 200 years, and this is the worst show I've ever seen. (Jacob puts a picture of himself onto Edward's face and continues cutting.) Trivia *Antagonists: Whitney *This show is TV-PG-L, and this reference contains bisexuality. *This is the only time Buffy the Vampire Slayer gets spoofed. *The vampire baby looks like the baby from Spy vs. Spy Kids. * In Latin America, the scene of Buffy chopping Al Gore was cut''' '''maybe because that Latin America think it was a violent scene. Category:Movie Segment Category:Movie Parodies Category:Segments Category:Transcripts Category:Book Parodies Category:Death